Planning a Funeral for the Faithful of All Saints Byzantine Catholic Church
When beginning to plan a funeral, it can seem morbid or culturally taboo to talk about death or to plan for yourself or loved one, who will be passing away at a future date. Our Worship and Faith compels us to talk about death constantly, but it is always in conjunction with life too. The two, that is life and death, go hand in hand. The reality is that there is life beyond this world. While there is a fear of death which can infect us, but the antidote is Our Lord God and Savior Jesus Christ. We can never forget that Jesus Christ Conquers and by His Resurrection we have been set free!
Planning our funeral gives us a reminder that our time is limited on earth and is nonetheless a gift. However, we must be realistic in that we should plan or at least have a summary of our desires for our funeral and burial. The following is a brief summary of what happens once a family member has passed away.
Prior to death, the priest is always willing to come out and administer the Holy Mysteries. He can even come to you when you’re unable to come to the church too.
A Brief Summary and Guide of a Byzantine Catholic Funeral
At the time of passing of the deceased, the family calls and emails the church office, Fr Steven and contacts the funeral home.
Fr. Steven will come out to you and prepare the body for burial. He will ceremonially wash the body. The family and friends present are encouraged to also ceremonially wash the deceased family member’s body such as their arm or hand. This is a simple way to serve your loved one, upholding the dignity and holiness of their body, and allowing yourself to grieve for your newly departed family member or friend. While this is happening, the priest prays the Divine Office of the Soul Departing from the Body.
Once the family has washed the body of the deceased, the first Panachida or small memorial service is prayed together. Lastly the priest anoints the head, hands and feet of the deceased with blessed oil. The priest begins to depart as he extends condolences once again on behalf of himself and the family of All Saints.
The funeral home will then come in and take care of the family, friends, and their loved one who passed away.
One of the questions that is often asked is: what to do or what should I do while the funeral preparations are being done?
While this maybe easier said then done, one of the first things I would say is to not allow yourself to isolate. Each person grieves in their own way, but the enemy has a devious way sliding in to keep a person in a perceived prison. Usually it is associated with a lie we believe. An antidote to this is being present to and with those who are mourning too. While it’s normal to have alone time, but there is a difference between alone time and isolation. It is these moments that remind us we are not called to be independent but rather dependent on God and those He has placed in our lives.
Another antidote, especially when we just feel blah or it feels like God is distant, we can pray the Psalms. This is a wonderful way to be connected to our God and the words are already etched in our hearts. As we pray them, our heart begins to slowly soften and open by remembering those prayers/psalms as not just words on a page but truly live within us. The psalms provide us with words to our prayers when we have none, and allow our feelings to be felt rather than stuffed down as we begin and continue to grieve.
Meeting with the Funeral Home and Funeral Director
The funeral director will meet with the family of the deceased to go over the preparations for the funeral. The funeral director will also contact the office of All Saints, on your behalf, to schedule the funeral services. You are always more than welcome to talk and discuss your wishes and desires with the priest as well. Any requests outside the funeral guidelines of All Saints should be discussed and approved by the pastor prior to the funeral services.
Concerning Requests Outside the Guidelines of Funerals of All Saints Byzantine Catholic Church
The integrity of the Church, the Teachings, the Holy Traditions, Doctrines, Worship, the Faith that has been handed down to us from each generation of the past, and standing in Truth cannot be in contradiction to the request. The pastor will always take everything into account on a case by case basis, through discernment and a conversation with the family, he will exercise pastoral prudence on the request of the family.
After the services are scheduled and planned, while the priest is in contact with the cantor and server, the family is completing their deceased family member’s obituary to be published.
As a reminder, there is no eulogy or life presentation, given during any of the services. No eulogy, presentation of life or any layperson can speak in the church before, during or after the funeral services in the church building. The more appropriate times for a eulogy or life presentation would be at the funeral home before or after the funeral wake service the night before, or at the repast (mercy) meal.
Summary of Guidelines